Memorial of Saint Teresa of Jesus, Virgin and Doctor of the Church
The road to perfection
I live without living in me,
and I expect a life so high,
that I die because I do not die.
When brother John painted a portrait of 61-year-old mother Teresa, he heard: "God forgive you, brother John! You painted me with ugly and bleak face.”
Tall, Remarkably beautiful in her youth, even in her old age, she still looked very good, notes her confessor and biographer, Fr. Francis de Ribera. And she herself admits: "I wanted to be attractive, always look good, I took great care of my hands, my hair, perfumes, and all possible vanities."
But hearing the words from Teresa’ poem “VIVO SIN VIVIR EN MÍ” - Vivo sin vivir en mí, y tan alta vida espero que muero porque no muero - full of perhaps somewhat sentimental and seemingly exalted metaphors, having before our eyes the Ecstasy of Saint Teresa by Bernini, we can rather quickly be discouraged to follow this saint. So inhuman it seems, so detached from our daily struggles and problems. The very nickname "great" puts us at a distance. We - little, gray people, with our little things, with calendars planned for the next 2-3 months. She - a great mystic, heroine of faith, longing for death. What can it teach us?
Teresa of Avila was born on March 28, 1515, to a pious Spanish noble family. From childhood, fascinated by the colorful lives of saints, brought up in an Augustinian monastery, at the age of 21 she entered Carmel. There she finds a less strict discipline. In practice, a monastery resembles a palace where noble sisters live a truly worldly life. There is practically no cloister. The constant visits of wealthy and influential relatives, numerous conversations - by no means pious - do not build an atmosphere of prayer and contemplation.
At this point, there are three possibilities for each novice: to remain faithful to her conscience, to enter and look for a better monastery, or to adapt to the prevailing arrangements. Teresa chooses the third path: she remains faithful to her conscience and to the will of God that led her to this monastery. Her illness and healing through the intercession of St. Joseph was significant. Saint Joseph from now on will be the special guardian of Teresa, and in the future – guardian of the reformed Carmel.
The turning point in the saint's life took place in 1557. She is then 42 years old. While praying, she contemplates the image of the scourged Christ. A deep look into the eyes of the martyred Lord begins a revolution that will be loudly heard not only in Spain. Teresa discovers that she cannot seek only her own salvation. She cannot live peacefully, in the sense of holiness, next to the erring sisters. Later, in The Interior Castle, she will write that the touchstone of God's love is the love of one's neighbor. Those who strive only for their inner development, despising their weaker neighbor do not truly love God. In fact, he/she is in illusion, and his/her "mysticism" is perhaps an illusion suggested by Satan.
Teresa eludes the patterns in which we would like to close her. Reading about her ecstasies, levitations, piercing of the heart with the spear of love, we build the image of an introvert detached from the world. Yet at the same time, she had accomplished a great work of reforming the Order. Since 1567, she travels practically all the time in Spain, establishing new foundations. Except for one – she encounters difficulties everywhere: starting from opposition from the clerical and secular authorities, through financial problems, conflicts with the founders, and ending with construction problems.
In the meantime, she is under house arrest, and St. John of the Cross - her spiritual son and co-reformer of the male branch of the Order is imprisoned and beaten. Her writings are examined by the inquisition. And yet it is precisely in this that the authenticity of her mission turns out to be that, in obedience to the Church, she overcomes all persecution victoriously. And even the activity of the Inquisition turns out to be providential because it was thanks to the storage of her writings in the Inquisition's archives that it was preserved for us in an almost original version.
Teresa found the perfect balance between a deep contemplative life and an active life. One sphere feeds the other. What is most fascinating about the saint is her immense realism. Her writings are extremely specific and full of very practical comments. Anecdotal is the saint's sense of humor and sometimes palpable irony. Teresa has a great distance to herself. She is also far from sentimental clichés in his relationship with God. As in the relationship with people, the most important thing is honesty. Prayer does not exclude Teresa from the community - it becomes included in her prayers. Sensitivity to others and their spiritual misery is reflected in her intercessory prayer. The religious unrest related to the then spreading Reformation is especially dear to the Carmelite nun’s heart.
Finally, it is worth adding that with all her spiritual and organizational activity, Teresa suffers from heart disease throughout her life. Fever, weakness, a sense of loneliness, and dryness do not leave her behind. From the human side, she is not great - she is incredibly weak. But it was precisely in this weakness that God wished to show His greatness. He made the woman who was to die at the age of twenty, but she left at the age of 67 as the founder of 15 foundations, a mystic, author of numerous spiritual works that would earn her the title of doctor of the Church in 1970. Teresa was great, but great above all by God's power. And this is our hope, only if, like Saint Teresa, we want to be saints. And God will do the rest.
In one of the poems, she wrote: "Que muero porque no muero", “I die because I do not die” in order to meet as soon as possible with the Divine Bridegroom, Risen Jesus. She also talked about her greatest secret, her friendship with Jesus: "For whom Christ is a friend and a generous guide, she is able to endure everything. Jesus himself comes to help, gives strength, does not abandon anyone, he is a true and sincere friend. I can clearly see that it is God's will that if we want to please God and receive from him great graces, we received them through the most Holy Humanity of Christ, in whom the infinite God, as he himself says, is pleased. "
"Let Your will be done in me, Lord, in whatever and as You wish, according to Your divine pleasure! Do you want to send me suffering? - give me strength to bear and let them come; do you give me persecution, disease, insults, poverty and hunger? - here you have me, my Father! I will not turn my face away and I will not run away. " (The Way of Perfection 32.10)
Until Tomorrow
fr. george