Do not begin conversion by fighting sin itself. You will lose
The question of whether Judas had to betray Jesus is really a question of our sinfulness: do I have to sin? The answer is - definitely not! I do not have to sin! So, if no one compulses me into sin, why am I doing this?
WHY BETRAYED?
The reasons why Judas betrayed Jesus will remain as the secrets of Judas himself and of God who knows his heart. We have many hypotheses: for money, because of possession, for personal reasons, to provoke Jesus to reveal his power and start an uprising against the Romans. There are even those who go so far as to say that God Himself planned it all and recorded it in Old Testament prophecy.
We do not really know how it was. We can only speculate. One thing we know for sure is that God did not force him to do it, nor did He want it, and at best, knowing the human heart, he predicted it. How can, we be sure? When God has a mission for someone, it is always "if we want." God cooperates with man and respects our freedom. He will never force us to do something good, for sure will not force to do something bad. Even He, has no power over our freedom. There is no way, then, to say that God wanted or forced Judas to betray him. Judas's decision was his free decision. But to what extent can one speak of freedom in such situations?
WHY DO WE SIN?
Note that our sense of freedom / compulsion depends on the degree of closeness to God. Paradoxically, the more we go into sin (which is supposed to give freedom), the less room for maneuver we see later. For example, if we have entered into some kind of sinful relationship or addiction, at some point it APPEARS that it is impossible to live otherwise. At the very end of the road there is only despair, and the only way out, SEEMS is the Judas solution - "he went and hanged himself."
Quite the opposite is in the other direction - the closer to God, the more a person experiences inner freedom. "I can do everything, but not everything benefits me" will say Saint Paul, paraphrasing the words of Jesus himself "You will know the truth, and the truth will make you free". Closeness to God makes us feel more and more free from various external things: opinions, money, environment, temptations, sins. So, we do not make our happiness dependent on external circumstances and we do not feel like a slave to it ("here, with these people, in this job, I will not be happy ..."). On the contrary – we have our life more fully; we are capable to greater suffering and living even in a difficult environment. When we have the royal freedom of Jesus ("Nobody takes our life, I give it myself") you feel free and happy really everywhere.
WHO WILL SET ME FREE?
What to do when we feel today like Judas, we betray Jesus, and we know it; maybe we want to change it and deep down our hearts we do not want to sin, but it is too strong and we cannot live differently or we do not see any salvation for ourselves?
Three simple steps:
1. Believe that Jesus is the Savior, and therefore the one who has the power to free you from your sin / addiction. He defeated Satan, Evil and Death. He defeated! Now he wants to share his victory with you, because this is the meaning of his passion and resurrection. This is why we celebrate Easter - God is very anxious to free us from all slavery. To experience this, start with a simple and sincere prayer: "Lord Jesus, save me!".
2. Change your thinking - it is possible! Clear your memory. There is a way out of your situation! Nothing is impossible for God! Even in the case of Judas, God would find a way-out solution if Judas had not been caught up in Satan's temptations that there was no more forgiveness for him and no other way out. Do not look back - what you will lose, just look forward - what you gain!
3. Give God as many opportunities as possible for His grace to change you from inside your heart. We do not fight with the powers of this world, so with your strength you do not have the slightest chance to convert and persevere in it to the end. Since you arecloser to God, the more you feel His gift of freedom, so you only need to learn how to be close to God and how to cooperate with grace. Trust Him – Jesus, I trust in You.
" My grace is sufficient for you," says Jesus. So do not start your conversion by fighting sin itself, because you will fall and break down, that it is impossible. Do not waste your time and frustration. Begin your conversion by "accumulating" grace. The point is to expose yourself to the systematic action of this grace, e.g., a whole rosary a day, half an hour of adoration a day, 15 minutes of reading the Word of God, daily Eucharist. It is only a matter of time until you begin to see the first fruits of your collaboration with grace and you can repeat with St. Paul, previously a murderer and persecutor of Jesus, and by grace - an Apostle of the Nations: " But by the grace of God I am what I am, and his grace to me has not been ineffective. Indeed, I have toiled harder than all of them; not I, however, but the grace of God [that is] with me. " (1 Cor 15:10)
Until Tomorrow
fr. george