From the beginning the Creator made them Male and Female – Mt 19:3-12
The indissolubility of marriage not only terrified the disciples, it terrifies today’s people even more. The result is numerous divorces, and recently the lack of any vows so that they do not have to be dissolved afterwards. However, this fact does not actually change anything from the moral point of view. Marriage is the first institution created with the creation of man. It is prior to the church and its law, it is even prior to any religion. Every religion has already found marriage as a fact.
“Have you not read that from the beginning the Creator made them male and female and said: For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh? So they are no longer two, but one flesh.
Therefore, what God has joined together, man must not separate.” (Mt. 19:4-6)
Regardless of faith or the lack of it, a man is a person who needs another person for his fullness, need deep contact with other person. Each of us is a respond to the call that arises in the event of a meeting. "I" am born as a response to the call from "You". God created us out of love for love (cf. Eph. 1: 5f). In Love we are born. This does not only apply to the love of parents, but is matured through the bond of love that we enter into, "I" becomes "you" for you and vice versa. We both become each other for each other.
Breaking this bond, even independently from the sacrament of marriage itself, is a betrayal not only to the other person, but is a betrayal of oneself. The resulting wound is huge. It is difficult to heal. It also means that someone has not grown up to this creative dialogue, consequently treats the other person and himself/herself as objects. He/She did not come to the new birth, did not become the "you" for the other and the "I" in himself/herself through the relationship of I -You. The situation itself, despite appearances, is false. They did not become two in one flesh, which in the Bible expresses this new birth through the I-You bond. In such a case this relationship is broken and a new one could be created, maybe more authentic - it happens so in life – but it is still much more difficult to build it fully. The original openness to meeting others was deeply wounded. Building a new, true I-You relationship is more difficult. However, even under the best conditions, building this relationship is always a great difficulty, because it is an effort of dying off oneself so that one can live with others and in a bond with them.
This bond is a prediction of what will be happen in the future and the church even says it is a sacrament of our relationship with God. In order to enter it, one has to die, as the Lord Jesus said several times. For whoever wishes to save his life will lose it. It is just the same in marriage. Whoever wants to keep his current life, does not die to live from love's response to the call of love, the answer of "I" to the challenge of "you", he loses not only his own life, but also destroys the life of another.
The intimate bond of sexual love is the answer "yes" to the call of love from the other, if it is not a real answer, if it is a lie, seeking only pleasure, there is betrayal hidden in the very gesture that tries to imitate love. Here the sin of adultery is most often contained, which is a fatal blow to the other. If the other was born of an answer to our call, then our betrayal kills his “I”. The only positive way out of this tragic situation is finding oneself as an answer to God's "You". It is not easy when we are so deeply involved in the concrete of life, in interpersonal relationships, and God remains an elusive, intangible reality for us. Is needed a lot of faith and strength of spirit. Therefore, more often the blow of betrayal kills a person spiritually. This person no longer lives to the fullest.
The disciples were terrified by the law relating to marriage; If that is the case of a man with his wife, it is better not to marry (Mt. 19:10). The Lord Jesus replied: Not all can accept this word (Matthew 19:11) Personal ties are of the greatest importance to the Lord Jesus. In fact, they decide about our life, which is coexistence, a community of life. The sentence from Genesis establishing a marriage: For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh (Mt. 19: 5; cf. Gen. 2:24) expresses the very essence of human life. No one can live fully, living only for himself, but to achieve the fullness of human life, one has to enter the bond of love, the bond of mutual self-giving. From everyone's side a sincere gift of self is needed.
Only faithfulness and perseverance can provide true love. They too are the most important moral virtues in the Gospel. Faithfulness and perseverance become a school of true life in God's Kingdom. Only through faithfulness and perseverance in love can you really know God. Lack of fidelity or perseverance prevents you from fully knowing God and getting to know another person. In married life in consecrated life and in life in general, the same principle of fidelity and perseverance applies as the necessary conditions for achieving full life here and in eternity
Until Tomorrow
fr. george