Losing or finding (Lk 2: 41-52)

According to the will of Pope Francis, on today's Feast of the Holy Family of Nazareth, we solemnly begin the Holy Year in individual dioceses on the occasion of the 2025th Anniversary of the Birth of Jesus Christ. In the bull announcing the Holy Year, the Pope expresses his conviction that it will be an intense experience of grace and hope for the whole Church. He also invites us to be pilgrims of hope throughout this year.

“Pilgrimage is of course a fundamental element of every Jubilee event. Setting out on a journey is traditionally associated with our human quest for meaning in life. A pilgrimage on foot is a great aid for rediscovering the value of silence, effort and simplicity of life. In the coming year, pilgrims of hope will surely travel the ancient and more modern routes in order to experience the Jubilee to the full”. (Bull „Spes non confundit”, nr 5)

If we are to be pilgrims of hope also as families, we need to renew trust in God and trust in one another in marriage and family.

The event that today's Gospel tells about is the only recorded episode from the period of the so-called Jesus' "silent years". We know little of the "gospel of childhood", although the rich apocryphal literature abounds in legends and stories, the credibility of which is impossible to verify. Apocrypha is a more intelligent version of modern tabloids and gossip portals that are more about sensation than reaching the real truth.

There were three feasts of pilgrimage in the Jewish calendar, when all believers should appear at the temple: the Passover (cf. Mt 26: 2), the Feast of Weeks (Acts 2: 1) and the Feast of Tabernacles (Jn 7: 2). It is not surprising, then, that Joseph and Mary, as pious and practicing Jews, went to Jerusalem each year for the holidays. This was due more to their beliefs and the need for their hearts than to the requirements of religious law. The pilgrimage from Nazareth to Jerusalem and back lasted at least 10 days (including the Sabbath rest!). So, it was quite a challenge and a test.

What happened to Joseph and Mary was not so bad compared to what many parents today are going through. It is true that the three days of fear and feverish search for Jesus were not the easiest ones, but the mere fact of finding the Son in the temple among the teachers of faith must have calmed them down. This situation proved that it was not an irresponsible whim of a youthful nature or a prank of a teenager. It was neither an escape. If the rite of the bar mitzvah for every Jewish boy meant that they would part with their childhood forever, with the unawareness and the resulting carelessness of life, and take responsibility for everything before God, then in the case of Jesus it has a special and unique dimension. Perhaps it was then that Jesus first recognized who he really was. Perhaps it was then that for the first time he realized his identity and oneness with the Father.

There is tension in the finding scene. The fear and pain for both, Mary and Joseph, seemed unnecessary and unfair. As Mary concentrates on human fears and the pains of human hearts, saying: " “Son, why have you done this to us? Your father (that is, Joseph) and I have been looking for you with great anxiety.” Jesus replies that more important than earthly pains and fears is the will of the Father: "Did you not know that I must be in my Father’s house?" And when Jesus says this, he is by no means thinking of Joseph. He thought about the Eternal One. The temple of one God is most of all His home, and He is first and foremost the Son of God. The Evangelist did not hesitate to give his own commentary on the behavior of Mary and Joseph: "But they did not understand what he said to them." How is that? Our Lady does not understand something? That sounds like heresy. Devout souls, engrossed in and in love with Mary, may even be scandalized by it. But replacing Mary's faith with obviousness does not serve her glory, it does not exalt her. On the contrary - it would make her unreal! Fortunately, this was said by an Evangelist under the inspiration of the Holy Spirit.

Paradoxically, this can be good news for many modern parents who do not understand what is happening to their children. Many parents experience the horror of the true loss of their son or daughter. Many have to experience the difficult period of their maturation, about which the poet-romantic said: "a time of storm and pressure." Some parents are forced to deal with their teens’ runaway or wandering evenings, others with drug strings, suspicious company with which the child surrounds him and with difficult-to-check contacts. In many homes, parents are unable to recover from the excesses of their underage children and look helplessly at their mistakes or sins and the embarrassing consequences that result from them. Perhaps it is some price for their mistakes and sins as parents, or maybe it is simply worry for a child that is the price of every motherhood and every fatherhood.

 Let me conclude with the thoughts and words of Pope Francis.
Three key words of family life: please, thank you, sorry.

"Please, thank you and sorry" are the three words that Pope Francis "would write on the door of every family home" as they are the key to living well and in peace both inside and outside the home. They are simple words, much easier to say than to put into practice, but "they contain great strength: the strength of protecting the home, from a thousand difficulties and trials, when they are lacking, cracks gradually open up that can even lead it to collapse."

The first word is "please. "To enter into the life of another person, even when that person forms part of our life, requires the delicacy of a non-intrusive attitude, which renews trust and respect. Confidence, then, does not authorize us to take everything for granted. Love, the more intimate and profound it is, the more it demands respect for freedom and the capacity to wait for the other to open the door of his or her heart".
The second phrase is "thank you". "At times", observed the Holy Father, "it seems that we are becoming a civilization of poor manners and unpleasant words. ... Politeness and the capacity to thank are seen as a sign of weakness, and at times even arouse distrust. This tendency should be opposed within the family itself. We must become intransigent in the education of gratitude and recognition: the dignity of the person and social justice both come from this. If this approach is neglected in family life, it will also be lost in social life."

The third word is "sorry", as "when it is lacking, small cracks become larger ... to the point of becoming deep trenches. It is not by chance that in the prayer taught by Jesus, the Lord's prayer that summarizes all the essential questions for our life, we find the expression 'forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us'.

Acknowledging our errors and being willing to restore what has been removed - respect, sincerity, love - makes one worthy of forgiveness. ... If we are not capable of apologizing, it means we are not capable of forgiveness either. ... Many hurt feelings, many lesions in the family begin with the loss of those precious words: 'I am sorry'. In married life there are many arguments ... but I advise you never to let the day end without making peace. And for this, a small gesture is enough".

"These three key words for the family are simple words, and perhaps at first they make us smile. But ... perhaps our education neglects them too much. May the Lord help us to restore them to their rightful place in our heart, in our home, and also in our civil co-existence."

 Marry Christmas

fr. george